Author: The Wombwell Rainbow

9. Consideration

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I said to Friend Peaudane, as we walked Dearne Flats by the serpentine river that he has more than proved his worth as a husband. I would gladly accept him in such a position and be willing to bear him children to cement our association. He answered that it is only a beginning and we must both strive for the ends I described to him at the beginning, extravagance in our generosity towards others, both personally and publicly. It is now Friend Peaudane, that wishes me to call him Richard as he shall call me Sarah and that we should wait a time yet till we are married. He has his duty to Joseph and family to fulfill.

Yesterday he was present when Susannah, Joseph’s wife gave birth to their second son. Joseph and his brother James who is now living there too pacing up and down, wanting to drown his sorrows, while Richard soothed his furrowed brow with optimistic expressions. But, upon the reception of the child after its sojourn with Susannah, Joseph was all Pray god children are ugly when there but bairns. Richard saw the pride in Joseph’s eyes. Richard wishes to prove his worth to me as a wife as soon as Joseph and Susannah have found a cottage at a place called Old Mill. Here Joseph will raise kine and have a loom. His brother James is to
lodge with Mrs Jackson at the King’s Head. I shall move in with Richard promptly.

The Gift of Fire

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THE GIFT OF FIRE
Their sheets were silk like mine were linen. Their mattress soft like mine was hard. They had room for two but I had only one. Theirs was the blue quilt all sharp and ironed and clean. All fluffed up like it was green hills that at any moment the yellow sun would rise over. Not a flat grey sheet that breathed in the frost except where dust and paper gathered, like a deserted street blown away by a harsh wind.
It had begun when I least expected it. Snug in the City of Cardboard that stretched for miles, I was made homeless. The Officials came to take your box away and never said why. I wandered up and down the grey streets and looked through cardboard windows and watched families enjoy their food, while the biting wind whipped around my body. Meals of honeycomb and ale, while mine was any insect crawling the streets. Soft cushions to· sit on, while my arse bruised against concrete. The stippled concrete stretched for miles. I had grown up on its surface. Lingering scabs on my flesh. My friends used to compete as to who could have the worst. I’d never been outside the ci ty. I always had a cardboard box. But since the Officals came even my best friends didn’t want to know. They said ‘You’ve no box. It makes you a Traveller. We don’t talk to Travellers.  was always said that when you became a Traveller you could see what boxfolk had.
My feet were all I had left, so I walked. All I could see were rows and rows of cardboard boxes. And when I looked up I saw the endless grey that legends told to me as a child was as solid and unforgiving as the ground.
As I walked and walked and walked my cardboard shoes tore to shreds. My eyes became heavy. My limbs even heavier. And still there were more boxes to pass. I thought about what they had done to me.
As I walked and walked I got hungrier. I began to fall and my scabs took longer to heal. Still there were more boxes to pass. I decided to take my revenge.
And I walked till I began to see honeycomb and ale on little tables with a family beckoning for me to sit and eat with them. Till I began to see my own box every time I passed cardboard. And suddenly there was all this whiteness about me. It made me feel warm and blinded.
A figure came out of the Whiteness. It said ‘I am a Traveller too ..’ and I no longer felt alone. The Traveller took me to one side and said:
You have come home. Your eyes will get used to the blue sky and the green grass. Here eat this bread. Here drink this milk. And I no longer felt heavy. The whiteness resolved itself into the blue above and the green below. I saw how the fire kept the Traveller warm and how it hurt when you put your hand in it. The Traveller said’ Stay. ‘
But I had got used to walking. When my feet had healed, my stomach was full, and I had enough of company I walked and walked and walked because there is no home for a Traveller: I will take this fire that burns as a gift to my boxfolk. They have treated me so well.

The Brandished Knife

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A Filey Clairvoyant

You will meet the Right Man and know it in two years time.

His name begins with,

I can’t quite distinguish

a P or B or R.’

 Well, I’d had- a Bernard and Paul.

I feel sorry for Ray

tells me his fat

girlfriend just sits

around house

no housework.

He prepares all meals.

She just sits

reading Mills and Boon.

drinks and sleeps

Never together when out.

She with her friends, he with his.

He goes out,

 returns she’s brandishing a knife,

 interrogates him

 where he’s been.

He is a designer

 witty with it.

 Manager at my workplace

 he sends me a picture

of an American Indian

 with palm up

and five statements on how

we should get together.

I ask

 Why haven’t you moved out?

He says

When my last marriage broke up

my wife got house and everything

 and my girlfriend won’t move out.

He makes sense.

I want a boyfriend with either

 motorbike or a landrover.

He’s just sold his bike.

Landrover is soft topped.

Takes me and Ben out walking

 to Dark Peak.

We enjoy pictures rather than words.

He makes meals for the family.

My friends said if my last husband turns up

Ray

would not hesitate to lay him out.

We spend evenings planning places

 things we can do, together.

He smokes

socially when he drinks, like me.

Suddenly,

Christmas he moves in.

On way out to a Parents evening

 Ben’s school I tell him

We’ll talk when I return

On return I find all drink gone

him crashed out drunk in my bed.

In morning he says

Please forgive me.

Over the next month we go out

hold hands, and are gentle

down by the bridge while Ben plays

 ahead with our dog.

Over next month he fills my wardrobes

with his clothes

my shelves with his CD’s.

Then I notice

him going to pub straight after work,

returns home crashes out to sleep.

he works drinks sleeps

Comes from work after pub

says he’s tired, sleeps rest of night

I wait for him downstairs.

I sit alone in house on an evening

or when he is in

he gawps at TV in bedroom.

He does not let me to go

out with my friends.

We go out again after I have words.

Two weeks later he is back

drunk and sleeping again.

On few occasions we go out

he leaves me on my own

 he spends evening talking to a biker

or someone at bar.

 I talk to his fat girlfriend Sophie.

She’d been holding a knife because she

was cutting veg, as she always did

preparing meals for him while he went

Out and got drunk.

He catches me talking to her

says 

‘Don’t believe her, she’s a liar. She’ll say

anything to get me back with her.’

Tells me all the girls at work

are after him.

 

I talk to them.

They wouldn’t touch him.

He promises me I’ll not go drinking

starts excuses when I smell it on his breath

 told him so.

I say

I’ll go to a counselling session with you

He’s having none of it.

his tears when I phone him at local pub and tell him

Your stuffs in the driveway.

 Down on his knees he is, tears and moans, begging me to reconsider. Says

Your right in everything you say. I’m at fault and I’ll change.

He is really suffering. I nearly break

 but people never change.

 I meet him a month or two later while out with my mates.

He comes in pub.

Sends one of his mates over to mr

Ray wants a private word

 I say

 Whatever Ray has to say he can say while my mates are present.

Anyway he comes over.

I aske

Hows Sophie?

he tells me

 Eff off.

I feel nothing.

Mark is the man for me, but he is married and she is kind. I have known the family for ten years now. It is only recently I admit to myself I love Mark. I would not hurt their kids . I have seen them settle down round meal table of an evening. I come home, collapse on sofa and cry for I know we would be good together. want to settle down. For a time with Ray I forget about Mark. Ray never knew about him. I see Mark less. I will not move from this cul de sac because I feel safe with Mark down the road and the fabulous view of the moors. Perhaps because I love Mark I find it difficult to love anyone else.  I’ll keep looking.

The Home of Breath

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Her breathing place

 is at home sometimes.

familiar furniture,

pot plants, pictures.

Her conversation easier.

No annoying silences.

Her stomach chums,

especially when someone knocks

on door

phone rings

Especially when she recalls

his threats on her

childs life

echoes off walls

she wants 

 cannot afford to paper.

Front room window-frame crumbles

one day pane will fall out

her house open itself

to wind

 here family is close

 friends minutes away.

 

None Has Stayed

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She brings men up
She can see whats in them.

Then they leave her.

None has stayed.

She swore never

 get hurt again.

Takes me

in her arms

 says ‘I’ve got a child already.

I don’t need another.’

‘I will not carry you.’

She curves my wet dreams.

Denies herself for her child,

others

‘My son is more mature than you.’

Makes each man she chooses

Then they leave her.

None has stayed.

She sees strength
behind their eyes,
in their arms,

Tells them it needs bringing out.

Every man has left his mark.

She asked them to leave.

None has stayed .

Tret

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It’s how she treats people
how she feels she must be tret:

Soeaks

to Mike,
libido disabled by drugs;
wound up on a Saturday night in the pub by wisos dropping their keks ;
avoided

 a Ieper
by people on the bus
she sits by him
aware that he’s tempted

but

subdued.

Old man returns to his lonely house
she wishes could go back with him, 

give him company.

Has her own family chats to him
in supermarket

longer

than she should.

Says she’s old-fashioned.

Likes a bloke to buy her drinks.

Treat her right.

I’m used to lasses
‘I’ll buy me own thanks.’
I feel it’s better if we share the price. You’ve no money so it makes sense.’

Old-fashioned is new to me.

 

She’s never made love to gentle.
I called it sex
Didn’t know any better.
She’s never been tret like this before.

The Reasons For Her Leaving (novel extract)

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ONE: THE HOSPITAL

It was how he tret Ben, my bairn not his, decided it for me.

Ben couldn’t walk. I took him into hospital.
I wanted to stay with him, to get out of the house and away from my husband. He said it was my duty to stay with Ben. He would have nothing else.

I decided to stay with Ben over night. They had no beds so I had to sleep on an armchair.

Husband visited in the morning. I lifted up my head to say ‘Hi.’ and he
marched back out the ward. He came back a few minutes later and told me ‘I want to see you outside – now!’ Ben was worried all over his face with what had
 been happening at the house, what he was going to do to me.

Anyroad my husband outside the ward tells me I ignored him! I should have thrown my arms around him and kissed him. He was shouting and bawling. Shaking his fist underneath my nose. He said I should take an afternoon off. Spend more time with him not Ben.
I wanted to spend as much time as I could away from him not with him. Ben even tried to persuade the hospital to let me and him stay in the hospital a little
longer.
My husband used to sit on the window le4ge and half look at me and say , You
don’t know what power I have do you?’ He’d say ‘Come over here. And he’d point to the stars and say it was he that wrote the book. He’d been here a long time. His power was from God to do evil or good.
It was his eyes that got me.

TWO: THE CRACK

Ben wanted to be with his dad. His real dad. I told him he could.
Then I told my husband downstairs, who screamed ‘I’ve had enough. I’ll kill
your child.’
I decided to move away, again.
He lay awake. ~ perceptive as me. I got up at 7. Quietly got Ben up. Told him not to make a noise.
I didn’t know where I Was going.
.. Anyway he woke up didn’t he and said, ‘Where are you going?’
‘I’m leaving you.
and he replied
‘Where shall we take the children today?’
Up till then he’d never taken them anywhere. He said,
‘I’m not being dictated to by your ex-husband or these soft, undisciplined brats.
Bitch. He was upstairs shouting from the landing ‘Bitch.’ at me in the hallway. ‘Go and put your fist in the ear of that nine year old brat.

He was like that.
He’d give me a crack.
I’d give a crack back like,\ but it’s not the same is it?
I can’t suss him out.
One day he calls me beautiful and stunning. Next day I’m an ugly bitch,
a whore, a tart.
We’ve always understood one another more than ourselves.
We always rub each other up the wrong way.
I caught him once
or twice with my friends. Touching them up
in the kitchen
at a house party we had.
He said he was comforting them. I looked at him for at least five minutes moving up against her before I said anything.
He always had an eye for women.
Once I banged one of these friends
up agin a wall and told her straight hands off or I’d crack her one.
They were all after him. Handsome bastard.
 He used professional techniques, trying to  .  ..
brainwash me and the kids, cut us off from family and friends. I was having none of this.
Anyway I moved him out.

 

‘Town Without History’

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How
in 1969 to commemorate the centenary of the towns incorporation
the Naturalists association Antiquarian collection
was emptied onto the feet of young boys who kicked the stuffed birds down Eldon Street.
And how
in Locke Park'{victorian memorial to Joseph, local
ironroad engineer who made inrails to respectability.)
was stolen by cold miners in a strike.
Old beams became warmth, stuffed birds became play, linked in a medieval tithe barn dismantled and stacked
 becoming
links in belonging;
a new arriving
home to find you have not moved but it’s a new time and place

NOTE: This was published before the brilliant ‘Experience Barnsley’ was installed in Barnsley old Town Hall

4. The Home Help: You Gave Me A Mountain

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INTERVIEWER’S NOTES LINDA’S BIRTHDAY
They enter the pub in dribs and drabs. They look at one another as if surprised. As if each have led separate lives for the last few months. They greet me as a stranger. I have not seen them for a month or two myself.

LINDA TO INTERVIEWER

When Ben’s old enough I’d like to sell up. Sell this house and use the money on a trip around the world. Would you come with me, darling?

INTERVIEWER NOTES

I heave the speakers through the pub door and onto their stands. There is no Buff. Neil plugs in the appropriate leads. He plays Neil Diamonds ‘America’ to test the sound levels. He does not check the sound is right with the group. He has a beard.

KATH TO GROUP

The group’s dead. I said at the wedding you’d all leave me, and I was right.

INTERVIEWERS NOTES LINDAS BIRTHDAY

Neil is getting a beer belly and his notes keep failing.
He sang Linda’s favourite song. ‘You gave me a mountain.’ by Marty Robbins.

Born in the heat of the desert My mother died giving me life.

 Deprived of the love of a father,

blamed for the loss of his wife.

The rest of the group joined in with Linda for the chorus:

This time, Lord you gave me a mountain to climb A mountain that I can never climb.
It isn’t a hill airy longer.
You gave me a mountain this time.

WEDDING GUESTS CONVERSATION

– You know the first dream Martha had about her son Lozzy’s death had a talking dog in it.
– A dog!
– Ay and it were called Death.
– Death.

NEIL
I’m sorry lad for having a go at thee. I know, now Linda’s had a word, that you can be trusted.
I’ve heard the aggro and hassle she gets from Buff. You can’t trust him, you know. He’s even tried it on with me. I couldn’t laugh at him, kid, but I came close, and we always thought he had such a good heart, you know.

WEDDING GUESTS CONVERSATION


– And it were going to tell her how Lozzy died, but she woke up.
– Is this supposed to help us cope with Ernest’s death? ‘Cos it aint.

MAGGIE TO INTERVIEWER

I don’t want Linda under Kath, like me, love. She’s got to get some other life.
Kath took me in after my last husband left me for dead.
Kath couldn’t do without me. I’m’ The One Who Did’ for her: washing-up, washing, cleaning her house, cooking her meals.
She’s mostly on the phone organising Charity events for poor sods like the one who suffered from leukaemia, remember, she asked us to go at the wedding. Anyroad she also takes in troubled young ‘uns. She used to record other acts with Buffs video camera and send them to television and radio. But now-she’s seen Buff’s true colours she’s caught betwixt and between.
I’ve got a large family. Three teenage daughters with husbands and children all in and out of our house. I’ve got five other children as well. I couldn’t cope with Kath and The Family. I thought I could. lowe Kath a lot for bringing me back from a brink. But I’ll never tell her it’s too much, even when she don’t visit me when I’m ill. I was wasting away but she still kept ringing, asking me to do stuff for her.
I don’t believe in Linda’s God. I can get out of this myself. I admire Linda. I love her as a friend. She’s someone I can talk to. She’s cleverer than I am. More intelligent. Education’s not for me – All that bookwork, I can’t concentrate for long. I’m only a housewife.
Linda and myself have false teeth. Our real ones were knocked out. You can guess by whom.

LINDA TO INTERVIEWER

I’ve missed my period for a few weeks, kid.
If I get a child I won’t abort it. You’re going to think I’m crazy, mad or summat, love. You won’t tell anybody, will you? Promise me! I had an abortion after Ben. The baby we were going to call Scott appeared to me in a dream and asked me “Why didn’t you want me?”
I couldn’t answer him. That’s why.
The problem might be my age, I know. It happens in your Forties. The change. Of life, love. You wouldn’t understand would you? I thought not, kid.

WEDDING GUESTS’CONVERSATION

– Marthas never going to come out of herself while she’s still grieving over Lozzy’s death. And then her husband Arthur weren’t no help, dying too. Would you credit it!
– We all have a time to go, ~
– Ay. When it’s gone its gone. History.
– Live for the present. Bloody useless dwelling on past,
– Ay don’t make a mountain out on a molehill. ‘Notherpint to wash sorrow down?

INTERVIEWER~ NOTES LINDA’S BIRTHDAY

You know Lord I’ve been in a prison for something I’ve never done.
It’s been one hill after another
And I’ve climbed them all one by one.
The rest of the group joined in with Linda for the chorus.’
This time, Lord you gave me a mountain to climb A mountain that I can never climb.
It isn’t a hill any longer.
You gave me a mountain this time.

LINDA TO INTERVIEWER

I’m working now, you know. Making umbrellas in this sewing factory. My first husband got sick of Child Support on his back, so he drives me up there. Luckily, they’d just laid off a lass. I promised myself I’d never be in one of them factories again, kid.
It’s given me back my dignity.
Don’t get an ore than on Social, though. They’re a good crowd, the lasses.

Kath arranged this Do, and now she’s asking us to pay for the sandwiches! I’m sick of this group. Neil always sings the same songs. Same people, same places. 1 don’t ask for much. A bit of variety, that’s all. I’ll still keep in touch with Maggie. We have a lot in common. False teeth for one.

INTERVIEWERS NOTES

Neil sings The Best’ by Tina Turner. None of the women get up and hold hands and dance to it as they used to.
Linda tells me Neil and Kerry are divorcing. Maggie has a new boyfriend, so she can no longer spend as much time with Kath and her house as she used to.
Linda’s toldMaggie ‘Be careful.’
And Maggie’s told Linda I will never trust another man again. No worries.’

LINDA TO INTERVIEWER


Linda dressed in a new cream jacket with her ubiquitous black leggings crosses her legs away from me when she sits down. She has bought her own hill! lager.
I’m trying to stop smoking and cut down on the drink. I’ve started putting too much weight on. Look, a tyre .
. Kath’s not really clairvoyant, you know. She changes her opinions of people. Tells me they’re the one for me, then when I meet her next she’s telling me ‘I should-watch him. He’s-no-good for you.’
Some of the lasses at work go to rock concerts and discos. My kind of night out. They hold intelligent conversations, you know. Talking about what’s happening with the Bosnian refugees. Talking about issues in the news. Stuff like that.
I’m taking an 0′ level at college. What course? psychology.
It’s bad of me, I know, but I been reading my Bible lately. He wont be pleased with me, will he?

INTERVIEWERS NOTES LINDA’S BIRTHDAY

My woman got tired of the heartache Tired of the grief and the strife. So tired of working for nothing. Just tired of being my wife.
The rest of the group joined with Linda for the chorus:
This time, Lord you gave me a mountain to climb A mountain that I can never climb.
It isn’t a hill any longer.
You gave me a mountain this time.

LINDA TO INTERVIEWER

I agree with you. Everyone in the group has limited horizons. Maggie is just happy to go out drinking and dancing and a bit of sex here and there. Buff always repeats himself and is very immature. Kath is too taken up in herself to be interested in anyone else. 0, dont get me wrong. I know I wouldn’t be the way I am now if it weren’t for them. They brought me out of myself. I was quiet as a mouse. Like you, now. They learned me not to care what other people think.

LINDAS CONVERSATION WITH MAGGIE

LINDA: At least Kath’s not going ‘Shush, while turns on.
MAGGIE: hush, while turns on
I believe in respect and good manners.

Both women collapse into laughter

1. The Mother, The Best

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LINDA APRIL 20TH 1993 </p>

l owe Kath a lot, kid, but there comes a time when you know nothings changed, that you want more.

I think it was the night of her birthday that did it for me.

LINDA NOV. 18TH 1992
~ Doesn’t the bride look beautiful? Ehl Why’s everybody got sad faces? It’s a wedding isn’t it? Her dad’s died! Poor soul. I don’t know why you want to interview me. I’m just an ordinary
housewife. Kath? Move over and I’ll tell you about her. You’ve got a tear in your jeans. Eh! Watch yourself, kid. Half a chance I’ll have ‘em off.

Kath. You won’t tell anybody will you? Will you? Kath took me in when I needed. it. I went to the football club and her son Neil was performing. There wasn’t any seats but she ushered me over and said ‘No need to be on your own lass. Sit with us.’ and I did.
I enjoyed the company, kid.
I told her my name was Linda and she said I know.
0, sorry, kid. I’ve got this habit of touching people when I’m chatting. It doesn’t mean owt.
Anyway I was shocked that people had been talking about me. Did she know something about me? Had she contact with my husband? You know the worries, But she said Don’t fret lass. I’m clairvoyant.
That was a relief.
I told her this night was a one off; that I was more used to sitting on the edge of the bed every .night and not venturing downstairs. Going out rare if ever. This night was a one off when I’d arranged a baby-sitter for my little boy, Ben – You don’t mind children do you, kid ? .. I’d just started one day a week in the market and got some extra cash. Then she told me more about myself than I thought nobody else knew.
When my husband was threatening me .. we’d separated- Kath said Ben and me could stay over at hers. Where do you come from?

KATH INTERRUPTS:- Don’t talk while turns on.

INTERVIEWERS DIARY NOV 18TII 1992 WORKING MEN’S CLUB-SCENE OF KATH’S BIRTHDAY AND WEDDING RECEPTION OF TRACY AND BILL. Decor reminds me of the film ‘Kes’. That scene in a working men’s club. Purple upholstered chairs. Backdrop of the stage like silver tinsel around Christmas trees. There’s gold tinsel too. Neil, the singer and Buff, his technical help have been heaving the speakers onto the raised wooden stage. Neil checks the sound system and his tapes. He’s been asked to perform at the reception. Likes Neil Diamond: sings ‘Crackling Rosie’ and asks us if the sound is O.K. We say yes. Kath his mother and organiser of the group I’m recording is talking business with the management, She dresses in black, as do the rest of them. Accepted hanger-on wear. (The rest of the group agree with hers and Henry Ford’s notions on the appropriate fan’s colour.) She also wears a jewelled butterfly brooch. Just talked to Linda. She laughs easily and has the kind of smile that makes me weak at the knees. She’s stunning in black leggings and black silk jacket. Would you believe she’s forty? Buff is very protective of her. He moved to sit with us when I introduced myself. He is BIG. With a little encouragement from Linda (She hugged his arm and made it into a joke) he reluctantly agreed to be recorded.

My name? is … er … Buff. Do? Help Neil set up.
Kath? At one of Neil’s gigs. He’d been coping by himself. I think … yes … at the Pheasant. I got up to give him a hand. Been with him since. Kath uses my video and tapes to record Neil on stage.

Linda and Maggie? I go out with them on a Tuesday night. Make sure they don’t get any hassle.

Live? With my parents. Work? Various, checking pipes under houses. Various. Drink? Yes,
It’s a whisky. Linda and Maggie worry I drink too much.

Girlfriends? Once. Not saying.
I’ve got a recorder like that. Let’s have a look.

LINDA TO INTERVIEWER
Kath’s got a dog you know? Haven’t you Kath!

KATH:  Linda, I believe in respect and good manners.

LINDA (whispering to Interviewer) Kath doesn’t like us talking while Neil’s I was saying about Smudge.

– Shhh. While acts on. (Kath smiles while she says this.)

INTERVIEWERS NOTE
The air is cold. Kath greets no one when she enters with Neil and Kerry, his wife· When she sits down she refuses a drink. Everyone says ‘Hello. Happy Birthday.’ Linda introduces me. Kath gives me a cursory glance then she gets up and goes to talk to the Bingo caller.
I ask Linda “What’s wrong?”

She says “Ignore it. Kerry bought Linda something for her birthday she didn’t like.” Kath’s son Neil is all apologetic to his mum but he knows he has a show to put on.

INTERVIEWERS DIARY newspaper extract, wedding photo and piece.
Pictured after their wedding at Barnsley Registry Office are Tracy Lister and William Widdop. Tracy is the only daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Ernest Lister, Green Lane, Gawber and William the only son of Mr. and Mrs. Michael Maudslay, Skinpit Close, Darton. The couple held a reception at High Green Working Men’s Club, High Green, and spent their honeymoon at Mablethorpe.

LISTER, Ernest –
Precious memories of a loving Husband, Dad, and Grandad, who died on November 18 at the Wedding of his daughter.
Words are few, thoughts are deep, Memories of you will always keep.
-From loving wife Ann, daughter Tracy and Bill, son Jim and Mary.

EAVESDROP RECORDING OF WEDDING GUESTS CONVERSATION:

~ What’s to do? We can’t celebrate when her dad’s just died at altar.
~ Be respectful. All we can. Congratulate her and him on their wedding but sympathise at the death of her father .
• When Martha’s son Lozzy died he had a dream. She dreamt that she was the best at growing lilies but they overran her house
~ She’s weird anyroad. Staying in all the livelong …

LINDA NOV 18TH 1992

0, God. Neils playing this again. I hate dancing to this , you know. Be back soon, kid. And don’t watch me dance. I’m awful. You don’t know this, love. You’ve led a sheltered life, kid. It’s called ‘Running Bear.’ Kath likes us to dance it together. All girls, you know.

INTERVIEWERS DIARY NOV l8TIf1992
NEIL ON STAGE

‘The next song is for somebody very special to me. My mum.
There is a ripple of applause as Kath stands prompted by Neil. It’s her birthday today.
The applause gets louder.
We hear the introduction to Tina Turner’s ‘Simply the Best’ and when Kath gets up to dance for the first time that evening all the lasses get up. Linda asks me whether I mind. It doesn’t make any difference to me and I am surprised that she’s asked such a question. We are not that close yet.

I call you, I need you,
My heart’s on fire.

Neil is looking at Tracy, the bride. Kerry dancing with the other girls acts as if she hasn’t noticed. I glance over at Buff who leans over as if I’ve given a sign I want to talk to him. Tracy is dancing without Bill. She’s dancing with her girlfriends. She smiles at him and whispers something into her friends ear. They giggle.

You come to me, Come to me, Wild and wired.

And all the girls in the hanger-on group are making fists and pushing out their pelvises while pumping their elbows behind their waists in unison as in ‘The Timewarp. ‘ Maggie puts a lot of oomph into it. Linda looks across at me and makes it look as though she is only doing it because the rest of the group are.

Oh, come to me,
Give me everything I need.
Give me a lifetime of promises, And a world of dreams.

Linda is looking straight at me and smiling. Kath whispers something to her. Linda gives me a glance as if to say, ‘Kath’s at it again.’

Speak the language of love, Like you know what it means.
It can’t be wrong,
Take my heart and make it strong, babe.

And all the girls in Kath’s group join in the chorus holding hands and looking at each other. I feel apart from everybody’s warmth and desolate inside, as if this companionship is something I’ve always wanted to be a part of. Then I quickly remind myself that I am an Interviewer and can allow myself these feelings so long as they don’t affect my work. I have a job to do.

You’re simply the best, Better than all the rest, Better than anyone, Anyone I’ve ever met.
I’ve stopped on your heart,
I hang on every word you say, Don’t tear us apart,
Baby I would rather be dead, You’re the best.

Tracy bursts into tears and runs out the room, closely followed by her mother.

it’s in your heart, It’s in the start, Of every night, And every day.

EAVESDROP RECORDING OF WEDDING GUESTS CONVERSATION:
– Would you credit it? Wedding and bloody funeral same day!
– Decorum please. Just got to treat it right. Like Martha did at Lozzy’s, Though she went a bit crazy after. She was the best mother a lad ever had. Some say he was adopted.
– And seen the groom, Brought his greyhound along. I ask you! A dog at a wedding!
Who’s club act? That his mother over there?

INTERVIEWERS DIARY NOV 18TH 1992
In your eyes, I get lost,
I get washed away.
Just as long as I’m here in your eyes, I could be in no better place.
Each time you leave me, I start losing control.

Kath takes up a position dancing in the eye-line between Linda and myself.

You’re walking away,
With my heart and my soul.
I can feel you,
Even when I’m alone.
Oh, baby, You’re my goal.

LINDA TO INTERVIEWER
Kath has been right about all of my relationships with men. She warned me about my last husband,
‘Watch out for him lass! He will want to control you’.
…. Then he was violent to me. He tried to make my mends hate me. Told them lies. Said to them ‘She’s told me “I don’t want anything to do with them.” Then he tried to take Ben away from me. She told me my last boyfriend was a drunkard. She was right. He tried to make me sen my house, to him! You’re not like that are you?

Don’t let Kath get her claws into you. Yes, you’re right. Once she’s got a lever on you she’ll use it. She invites me to Sunday lunch and the following day gets Buff to phone me up, to ask me if I want to see Neil perform again. And because she’s given me lunch I feel obliged. Don’t let her get her claws into you.
She’s spoilt Kerry’s evening. In the toilets Kerry told me Kath has told her ‘If you want to stay with my son pay more attention to my likes and dislikes, madam. ~ Reduced Kerry to tears.

INTERVIEWERS NOTES
At the end of the evening Neil has to do three encores. One of these features ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ by Bette Midler. Linda asks me up to dance this one slowly with her.
As we are all putting our coats on, Kath says to the assembled group,
” I am putting a charity gig on for Thomas Darfield, next Sunday. He suffers from luckaemia. You will be there won’t you?
Neil will be competing”
Linda smiles at me and says “Do you want to come back for coffee?”