A Bad Year

A whole year has passed since I held my dad’s hand and talked to him, told him how much I love him, kissed him on his cool and smooth forehead, said goodbye. I’ve wept pints of tears and looked for traces of his existence in the woods, paths and spaces he enjoyed. My grief feels pitiful alongside my mums own loss of her life partner, her friend and companion.
The awful period while he was suffering the effects of Myeloma and the treatment still casts its shadow on our memories. Even though during this period there were islands of smiles and happiness, the tide of despair rose higher up until what remained were the jagged rocks. Pleading looks from a face asking for help, to be taken out of the hospital ward and home. Home to die in more peaceful and comfortingly familiar surroundings. A wish we couldn’t grant.
Dad was, is, my hero, it sounds cliched but he is and always will be. My inspiration. Encouraging us to do things that make us happy, because if we’re not happy then how do we provide happiness for the people we love and cherish?
In whatever I did I wanted to make him proud and give back some of the love and happiness he and mum, gave me.
I continue to look for him in my landscape. In the local countryside he wandered through so much. In the places further afield in which we shared time. In the activities we did together and in parallel.
As we all do, I miss him every day, but can enjoy the time I spend with him when dreaming.

-Daniel O’Grady

Bio and Links

-Daniel O’Grady

is a Plant Manager at a Chemical Manufacturing site who enjoys writing about whatever comes to mind each day, capturing his thoughts for future reference.
He draws his inspiration from the semi rural environment he lives and works in, the woodland he wanders through and the lanes where he enjoys running and cycling.
He also enjoys photography where he tries to share the beauty of the world as he sees it. His ambition is to write a fictional story based on his path through grief, maybe retirement will allow more time, maybe it won’t.