The Toff and the turkey

Boss of crowlight says there’s one
 more way conquer owldark. Plain
 commonsense and a little
 cunning subdue stronger folk

 like tricksters did gullible
 Toff of his Christmas turkey.
 Cloudfull, raining sky, Toff leaves
 for a neighbouring town,

 for a fresh Christmas Turkey
 promised well-to-do farmer.
 No car, he walks home, carries
 turkey in a shoulder bag.

 Three crooks, very hungry, thin
 cross his path, see the turkey.
“We’ve been blessed lads. Let’s take him
 for what we can get.” They split.

 One of them overtakes Toff
 by another route, stops him,
“Thas a fool. Why lug this dog
 on your shoulders? Folk’ll pillock.”

 Toff loses it, says, “You dolt.
 Are you blind? Why do you call
 a turkey a dog?”  First crook
 replies “Don’t be angry, if

 tha thinks he’s not a dog, please
 get on. I’ve no objection.”
Toff hardly walks a cockstride
 when the second crook greets him

 and says,  “O respected sir,
 highly regrettable that
 you carry a dead pheasant
 on your shoulders, however

 dear it is to you. It does
 not taste the same as turkey.”
 Toff challenges him, “Are you
 too blind? This is a turkey.”

 The second crook says, “All right,
 sir. Please excuse me. I am
 an ignorant fool. Stroll on.”
Now it was third crook Toff met.

 He turned to Toff, and said, “Sir,
 it is highly improper.
 You lug an Eagle on your
 shoulders. This is illegal.

 Law says you cannot treat birds
 of prey like this knowingly
 or otherwise, so, please leave
 him before anybody

 notices.” Toff was gobsmacked.
 “I really carry an Eagle.” ,
 he thought and threw the turkey
 on the ground and went home.


 In addition to the four
 strategies I’ve told you, there’s
 a fifth one. In the presence
 of everyone, abuse me,

 punish me, brand me as friend
 of your enemy. That will
 convince Owldark’s spies you don’t
 trust me. Spray some blood on me.

 Exile me to the hills where
 I’ll stay bruised and when Owldark
 comes, try to earn its mercy
 and trust by blaming you.

 You stay in the hills till I
 find their cave, give you a sign
 so, when owldark are asleep
 you can come and kill them all.

via WordPress for Phone app.

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