Leftfield Questions
How is a hedgehog like a teatowel?
What mundane task would a living hedgehog do in a home?
How would a teatowel be rewilded?
Once were tea towels
smart-checked and striped,
holes now united by threadbare,
unravelled warp and weft,
linted and loose-threaded,
shoe-cleaners, floor-wipers,
the unnameable rags
that line forgotten places.
~Not all forgotten, not by all~
a hedgehog home, deep in the pile
of cracked roof tiles and bricks,
beam splinters ancient plaster,
is lined with linen, embroidered with oak leaves,
spiked and span, gathered by prickles,
wind holes filled with moss,
a winter sleep away from spring.
-Jane Dougherty
The Wombwell Rainbow 
Johnnie , darling , DON’T
just stand there, like a total loss,
grab a hedgehog, wipe some dishes
and show me who’s the boss !!
Fanny, dear, don’t castigate me
my hands are cut and raw
rooting through the drawers
trying to catch the spiny boar
and he would, my dearest, hear you
from ten miles away and more.
Johnnie , darling , NO EXCUSES
Let me make one thing VERY clear,
ONLY with his snout , will you get
inside my glassware , to bring
the sparkle out…….Fanny , dear,
THAT hedgehog has been dormant
in THIS kitchen UNWASHED
all Winter AND, as you well know,
hedgehogs NEVER leave a pawprint
when they decide to bugger off and go.
Lucky sods.