Killing the Writing Fraud

Andrew Oldham's Boneyard

There are times when we all think that we will be discovered. That the game will be up. Surely anyone can write? Yes, the old adage that everyone has a novel in them dilutes a vocation that takes years to perfect and a lifetime to develop. No one ever says, ‘You know, everyone has a heart bypass in them’ neither do they bark, ‘Everyone has a good old killing in them, stabby-stab-stab’. They don’t even say, ‘Everyone has a painting in them’ but as an art, or profession, everyone can do our job; certainly most taxi drivers think they can judging by what they tell you and tell you loudly so you will write it. I have always been amused that everyone thinks they have a novel in them, they probably do but a good 99% of those novels will be shit. Sorry but a lifetime ago I spent workshop…

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