Two Eighteenth Century Female Rivals (Extract from ‘Quack Peggy Mock’

Beast
 She’s turned you into a beast; a gamboling bear in the market place. Turning at her dry stick this way and that. Dancing to the beat of her words to earn a pittance of her crust.
 I forget myself you are not lonely that is not the reason for marriage; you just want your reputation back. Some wights took it away from you shouting about the town. Well when you have it back I’m waiting awhile till your senses return and we can salt each others meat again.
 She’s a peach your little quaker girl; that glory of red and yellow that has the ripeness of summer sun rising and nothing of the cold sun setting. She’s a globe, new land awaiting your travelled feet upon her shore. You would pluck her, and bite into her softness till the juice of pleasure washed both of you into joy, and she would bite into you, for you would be a peach too and both would joy until as two seeds lain side by side you marvelled at being fruit enough for the others pleasure. But I forget you are quakers and must give over such pleasures.
 Plain is Good
 Friend Richard Peaudane has attended our Meeting once more. His outward appearance has not altered and I fear the worst for my advice. The accused, being himself: has turn’ d the accuser. Openly, he sallied forth in the town and shouted his accusers were thieves. He has told all the town, enlarg’ d, vociferated, made some believe, and some like myself to stand in doubt. He says he has made the tale-bearers look like fools. I told him one pronouncement does not show a changed nature. If he is to attend our meeting again and have words with me he must endeavour to go beyond the artificial changes he is making. I hold out hope that on our next meeting we may be nearer husband and wife.

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