I’ve not told you everything he did to us. (whispering breath)
It’s why I’m sat on edge
of bed using upstairs phone.
Got to speak quietly.
My fault.
He keeps telling me
(conspiratorial breath)
I caused it
by what I did.
(questioning breath)
Is it something in me that’s at fault?’
Have l something wrong with me?
Am I a good person?
I’m afraid of him. What he might do
If I do this or the other.
I have no feeling for him.
(accusatory breath)
He says I’ve made the Love go.
He threatens me
because this is the only way
to
get it back.
I’m terrified, love.
(weeping breath)
Doesn’t lack of love mean more love needs to be given, not hate?
(angry breath)
He likes Old Testament. ‘Eye for an eye … ‘
calls himself Christian.
Knows the Bible off by heart.
Laughs at my attempts
to read it and so argue against him,
(determined breath)
Each person’s got to be responsible for themselves.